Home is
by flip fantasia
Summary: Katniss thought her hopes were small enough, but her troubles were a different story. She had never wanted to be a mother. Katniss was convinced she would be horrible at it. This baby needed her to be strong, so she would do what she had to for the little life inside her. But she had a feeling something horrible was going to happen. (K & P in a Where the Heart is AU)
1. Chapter 1

This story started as an Everlark Drabble Challenge ~ I was challenged by ghtlovesthg with the prompt Retail!Everlark. The first thing I thought of was _Where the Heart is_ by Billie Letts. You will find quotes from the HG series and WtHi (I own neither). As I was afraid of, this is only the beginning. I used to wonder how people could write such long fics, now I don't know how any writer can keep a story under 2,000 words. I will update it when I can, this is not my main WiP, but I will add to it when I can. Big thanks to to ghtlovesthg for cleaning up all my messy grammar and spelling errors; she is the best.

_**Warnings: Rated M**_

_~ Gale lovers beware; I turned Gale into an awful guy here, if that bothers you, stop now._

_~ Brief talk of molestation_

_~ Teen pregnancy_

**Home is... **by flip-fantasia

Katniss Everdeen, seventeen, seven and a half months pregnant, twenty-seven pounds overweight - and superstitious about sevens - just couldn't get comfortable in the seat of the old Plymouth Supercharger and nervously ran her hands along the curves of her belly.

Normally sevens were thought to be a lucky number, but not for Katniss. On her seventh birthday, an explosion in the mines killed her father. Then, on July 7th, 2007, when she was 10, her momma announced she was running away with a baseball umpire named Fred. In the seventh grade her only friend, Madge, stole an ice cream truck for her boyfriend and got sent to the Virginia State School for Girls.

Katniss knew that sevens were bad news for her, and she did her best to steer clear of them. But sometimes, she thought, you just can't see what's coming.

Sevens were not her problem at the moment, as she twisted and squirmed, trying to ease the pain in her hips. She had to go, again, but it was too soon to ask. It would only make him mad. Gale had the pedal to the floor, and though he seemed to hit every pot-hole and crack in the pavement, the car never dipped below seventy-five. The road signs screamed out their warnings in bright orange and yellow, but he didn't notice.

The car hit a curve too fast, dropping the front tire off the shoulder, and every bump and shimmy of the car went straight to Katniss's bladder. She couldn't wait any longer.

"Hon, I really need to stop again."

"Jesus, Katniss," Gale said, smacking the dashboard, "You just went!"

"I know, but…"

"If we stop every fifty miles, we are never going to make it. Why don't you sleep or something?"

She _was _tired, maybe that would take her mind off of it for a little while longer. "Alright, I'll try," she told him, as she carefully reached down to unstrap her green sandals. They were too tight now that her feet were so swollen from sitting, but they were the only shoes she had. She placed them carefully to the side, as far away as she could from the T.V. tray covering the hole in the floor board, before drifting off to sleep.

As she let her mind wander, her thoughts went to Gale's mom, Hazelle. Some would find it strange that Katniss didn't miss her own mother much, especially given her current state. But Hazelle had been so kind to take her in all those years ago after her mother left. She felt like such a part of the family.

Katniss had always thought of Gale like a brother, so it was strange when he began to look at her differently. Their relationship had changed so fast. One minute they were washing the dinner dishes, and then suddenly he took Katniss's face in his hands and kissed her.

She was completely unprepared. You would think that after all the hours she'd spent with Gale—watching him talk, and laugh, and frown — that she would know all there was to know about his lips. But Katniss hadn't imagined how warm they would feel pressed against her own.

She tried to decide how she felt about the kiss, if she liked it or resented it, but all she really remembered was the pressure of Gale's lips and the scent of the oranges that still lingered on his skin. He started coming into her room every night while she was sleeping. Katniss was too stunned to say anything, she shared the room with his little sister Posy and didn't want to wake her. At first it was just kissing, then touching, but he wanted more.

Whatever she pretended, she could never look at him in quite the same way. Katniss had this whole speech worked out, about how she didn't want a boyfriend and never planned on marrying, but she didn't end up using it. He was sweet, charming even, when he came into her room. Then one night, he said, "I have to have you. At least once." But it wasn't once. During the day Gale acted as if nothing was different.

Maybe he was waiting for her to say something. She couldn't. What if Hazelle kicked her out? She didn't have any place to go. So Katniss didn't say anything either. They pretended like nothing was happening. But it was. Gale had changed everything.

When Hazelle found out Katniss was pregnant, she was so happy, but Gale wasn't. Every change in her body brought a new look of disgust from him. He spent months looking for a way out of town. But he never expected Hazelle would make him take Katniss too.

Gale was racing out west on a tip from his cousin, J.P. Katniss knew that Gale was going to work for the same rail company that his cousin worked for. What she didn't know was that he planned to make big bucks the same way his cousin had; by losing a finger in the rail yard. J.P. got a sixty-five thousand dollar settlement from the accident, and Gale figured that he could live without a finger for that kind of money, at least until he struck it rich at the dog track.

Katniss had never seen Gale so excited about a job, but didn't think much of it. This was the furthest she'd ever been from Rockingham County, Virginia. While Gale dreamed of winning big at the races, she had a simple dream: a home without wheels. Katniss had lived in double-wides, an abandoned train car, campers, and for a little while, her boss' mini-van, but she had never lived somewhere without wheels. She liked to cut out pictures of pretty rooms in those home and garden magazines, and keep them in a big zip lock bag. Someday, she would have her own home, with a front porch swing, and a yard where kids could play.

Katniss thought her hopes were small enough, but her troubles were a different story. She had never wanted to be a mother. Katniss was convinced she would be horrible at it, and Gale would never be father of the year either. This baby needed her to be strong, so she would do what she had to for the little life inside her. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible was going to happen, something that she couldn't control. There were flashes, images she couldn't quite hold on to. Broken glass. A train rolling towards someone on the tracks. Wind whipping around her, loud in her ears.

"Katniss, Katniss, what are you screaming about?" Gale was shaking her shoulder to wake her. It must have been a dream, but she could still feel it. Hot wind blew up into her face, and she looked down to see the pavement rushing by. They must have lost the T.V. tray, along with her shoes, while she was sleeping. _Great_, she thought, _that won't make Gale any happier_.

Katniss looked up, trying to see where they were now, and spotted it in the distance. "Gale look, a Wal-mart!"

"Wow! Good job Catnip, there's only about a _million _of them."

"But they'll have a bathroom! C'mon Gale."

"Fine," he said shortly.

"And I need some money too," she knew he would be upset about that, but he had all the cash.

"Are they going to charge you to pee?"

"No, but I…my shoes, they fell through the hole," she smile at him ruefully, but Gale didn't find it funny.

As they pulled in to the parking lot, she felt the baby begin to move around. "Oh, give me your hand," she told Gale, but he just looked at her like she was crazy. "It's the baby, it's moving," Katniss reached for his hand and placed it on her tummy.

"You feel that?"

"No."

"Can't you feel that tiny little bomp, bomp, bomp?"

"I don't feel nothin'."

Gale tried to pull away, but she held his hand tight and moved it lower, pressing his fingers into the curve near her pelvis.

"Feel that right there? That's where the heart is. Our baby." Katniss held his hand there for a moment, before he jerked it away.

"Couldn't prove it by me," he said, and reached for his wallet. "Here," he said throwing her a ten.

"I won't be long; do you want me to bring you some popcorn?"

"Just go on, Katniss."

She knew he was watching her walk away, she could feel his eyes on her. She tried to move her body like she used to, when her breasts and belly and thighs were firm and smooth. But she knew what she looked like now, and knew the expression he was wearing, so she didn't look back.

The bathroom was, of course, all the way at the back of the store. She speed-walked, on bare feet, clutching her beach bag purse as she follow the signs to the restroom. When she finally made it to a stall, she didn't even bother to lock it or check to be sure there was paper on the roll. She just peed and peed, and then laughed out loud at the amazing feeling of relief, taking pleasure in life's little victories.

She washed her hands and splashed a bit of cool water on her face. The shoe department was close by. The cheapest shoes she could find were a pair of orange flip-flops. They would have to do.

As she reached the front of the large store, she saw thirty-six check-out lanes, but only five were open, so she just picked the one closest to her. She was fourth in line. To pass the time, she looked at the candy and gum selection, but decided it would be best to bring back as much change as she could for Gale. When she was third in line, she felt it: someone watching her. Maybe they noticed she was missing her shoes. She quickly looked behind her, but everyone was busy with their shopping.

Katniss turned back to the front of the store and saw him. The cashier was waiting as the man in front of him wrote out a check, but his eyes were on her. All she could see were those eyes, blue as a winter storm, staring deeply into her gray ones. She was trapped in his gaze until he turned back to the man with a bright smile, took his check, and finished the transaction. Katniss pouted a little as she looked down. She could barely see her dirty, bare feet. She probably imagined the whole thing. No one would look at her like that. Her hair was a mess of tangles; her dress was worn and threadbare in several places, and she was huge.

"I love this color," a voice said, causing her to finally look up from the floor. Those eyes were on her again. Now that she was closer, Katniss could see that little flecks of gray around his pupil made a star. He smiled at her expectantly. Had he asked her something?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, 'Will that be all miss?'"Impossibly, his smile became more brilliant.

Katniss nodded vaguely and then shook her head to clear it. He probably thought she was an idiot. "Yes, that is all. Thank you," she squinted to read his name tag, "Peeta." She smiled back at him and handed him the ten dollar bill. Her fingers brushed his as she passed him the money; they were so warm. Peeta had thick strong fingers, and she couldn't look away as his hands worked the register with ease. Katniss wondered how those hands would feel on her cheek. What would his large fingers look like, entwined with her slender ones? She imagined his warm hands running through her hair.

"Are you okay?" Peeta wished he had more time with her. The beautiful girl looked so lost, and he knew it was likely he would never see her again. "Miss?" Peeta asked as he touched her arm. Her skin was as silky as he imagined it would be. She looked up from where his hand touched her. "Your change, miss."

"Oh, sorry." She held out her hand.

"Seven dollars and seventy-seven cents."

Katniss jerked her hand away and the coins clattered to the floor. "No," she said in a whisper, staring at Peeta in horror. "No!" she yelled. She turned on shaky legs and ran for the doors.

Katniss knew he was gone, knew before she reached the door. It was like watching herself in a movie; she could see it all. She saw herself running into the parking lot, calling his name – running to an empty parking space, the Supercharger nowhere to be seen.

He was on his way to California, and he'd left her behind…left her with her simple dreams that were never his. The baby chose that moment to kick, maybe to remind her that she wasn't alone. Gale had left them both.

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Thank you for reading, please review and/or visit me on tumblr (flip-fantasia)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone, yes, I'm still alive! I am truly sorry for how long it has taken for me to get this chapter to you. More at the bottom ~ Happy reading!

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Chapter 2

Katniss wouldn't recall it all, even years later. She wouldn't remember the lady who found her Polaroid camera and Ziploc bag full of magazine clippings in a parking space nearby. She wouldn't even remember the cashier with the beautiful eyes leading her back to a shady bench before giving her the seven dollars and seventy-seven cents in change.

"My boyfriend just went to get the car fixed," she told the manager who wanted to call her an ambulance. And little by little, they went on about their work, continued their shopping, went to lunch, or stocked more shelves; they forgot about the pregnant girl on the bench by the door, under a sign with a huge yellow smiley face.

Just before four, Katniss heard the clicking of high-heeled shoes on cement. She looked up to find a lady in a 50's style vintage dress with red polka dots and a ton of make-up rushing toward her, a large smile on her scarlet painted lips.

"Ruth Ann? Ruth Ann Mott! Well, I declare! Little Ruth Ann. Why, I haven't seen you since you were a little bitty thing. Maybe twelve, fourteen years?"

"No, ma'am, I'm not…" Katniss tried to say as she stood up, but the woman wrapped her in a tight hug before she could finish. Her face was buried in the lady's cotton candy pink hair.

"Don't you remember me, honey? I'm Sister Trinket. You remember me. Effie Trinket. Course, that's not what you called me back then. You called me 'Fefe' because you couldn't say 'Effie.' But everyone calls me Sister Trinket now."

"But my name isn't…"

"Last time I saw you, you weren't more than a baby. And here you are about to _have_ a baby. Don't that beat all? Where do you live now Ruth Ann?"

Katniss gave up on the idea of explaining to this chatty woman who she wasn't, it was just too hard. "Well, I've been living in Virginia, but…"

"Virginia. I had a cousin that lived in Virginia. School teacher. She was smart as a whip, that one, but when she was in her midlife, she decided to have an operation."

Sister Trinket was whispering now, and leaned in closer to Katniss.

"It was a boob job. You know - implants. She got herself a young boyfriend and decided she needed to fix herself up. And you know, something went wrong with the anesthesia I think, and she couldn't spell anymore. Scrambled her brain right up, the girl couldn't spell _cake_, so they said she couldn't teach anymore. The boy-toy didn't stick around for that. Isn't that a shame?"

Katniss sat back down on the bench as she told Effie, "yes, ma'am. That's terrible." She wasn't sure if this woman thought it was a shame about the surgery going wrong, or the boyfriend leaving.

"Virginia. Are you just moving back then, hon? Coming home again?"

"Well, yes, I mean, no, not exactly. But it looks like I will be here for awhile."

"Wonderful, Ruthie. I think that's wonderful. 'Cause you know you can get something from home that you can't find anywhere else. Do you know what that is?"

"No, ma'am."

"Your history, Ruthie. Home is where your history begins. Stop. Take it all in. This...is sacred ground. History is made here." At that moment the wind blew in from the east carrying the smoke from the Purina Dog Food Plant and Effie's face grimaced. "You'll get used to the smell."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Brother Trinket, rest his soul, said, 'Home is the place that catches you when you fall. And we all fall.' That's what the late Brother Trinket used to say."

"Was he your husband?"

"No. He was my brother. A real man of God. Do you go to church, Ruthie? You go regular to church?"

"Not really."

"Well that's good. I think that's good. Sunday school, Bible study, prayer meeting. Now that's just too much church. There isn't anybody so full of sin they need that much church."

"Yes, ma'am."

"No reason to work so hard at it. Me? I have just one job to do now. Just one, that is all. Do you know what that is?"

"Save souls, I guess."

"Oh no, Ruth Ann. Jesus saves souls. I save Beanie Babies, they're just too cute. No, my one job is to give away Bibles. That's what the Lord wants me to do. Do you read the Bible, Ruth Ann?"

"Well, not much."

"That's good. I think that's good. People read too much of it, they get confused. Read a little, and you're just a little confused. Read a lot, and you're a lot confused. And that's why I just give out a chapter at a time. That way, folks can deal with their confusion as it comes. You understand what I'm saying, Ruth Ann?"

"Yes, I think I do."

"I wish I had a chapter to give you, but I am all out today. I'll have to run off some more tomorrow. But I'm not going to leave you empty handed now, honey. Come with me."

Sister Trinket started for the parking lot. Halfway off the sidewalk, she motioned for Katniss to follow her.

"Come on, Ruth Ann."

Katniss wasn't sure why she was compelled to follow the pink haired woman across the hot parking lot to her car, but she figured it couldn't bring her much more trouble than she already had. Sister Trinket didn't really seem like the kind of person to take no for an answer. She marched her way to a shamrock green Chevy Impala station wagon. It was a beautiful classic car. The top of the car was white and it had a white racing strip down the side, the leather seats, which looked brand new, where white as well. She walked around to the back of the car where the license plate read ~ WLCM-WGN ~ _welcome wagon._

Sister Trinket opened the door and pulled out a wicker basket filled with goodies and tied with a big red bow on the handle. She held the basket out in front of her and stood up very straight and tall, to make herself look more official.

"Let me be the first to say welcome home," she said in a bright and bubbly voice. "And on behalf of the 12th congressional district of Oklahoma, I would like to present you with this basket of gifts from the merchants and bankers to make this, your homecoming, as pleasant as possible."

"Thank you." Katniss took the basket.

"Look here, Ruth Ann. It's got matches, peanuts, tea, a phone book, emery boards, bread from the local bakery, discount coupons, and a map of the city. I had to write a few of my own appointments in the calendar, you see, this one is for a hair appointment with Flavius and then next Monday I'm getting my nails done. Oh, and this AA meeting is for…um, well anyway you will know those aren't for you."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Sister Trinket, can I take your picture?"

If the question surprised her, Sister Trinket didn't show it. "Aren't you the sweetest thing!" Effie quickly removed her sunglasses and struck a pose against the Welcome Wagon. Katniss snapped a picture with the Polaroid camera and they watched together as it developed.

"Thank you Sister Trinket, I'm going to frame this and put it up in the baby's room."

"You're sweet, Ruth Ann. So sweet." She hugged Katniss, and slid into the green Chevy.

"We live on Victor's Court, Ruthie. You can find it on your map. It's the second house on the right, lovely mahogany front door, you can't miss it. You can come out and visit any time. And bring that baby! You are both always welcome."

Katniss stood and waved until the green station wagon was out of sight, then tucked the picture safely into her beach bag.

By three in the afternoon, she was starving. Katniss bought a hamburger and a Coke from the McDonald's inside. She ate two Snickers bars and went to the bathroom twice. Every time she tried to think about what she should do, it made her head ache, so she ate another Snickers and went to the bathroom again.

She wandered the aisles of the store to stay out of the heat, just looking since she hardly had the money to buy anything. In the "lawn and garden" section, she stopped to admire a wooden porch swing. Her fingers traced the pattern of the wood that had been sanded as smooth as her skin. The porch swing was a thousand things she had never had; a house with a yard to look out on, a moment to sit without worry, morning glories thick on white trellises, her sweet baby asleep on her lap, a strong callused hand to hold hers.

"Old man out on Wild Horse Creek makes porch swings out of hickory."

She turned toward the voice to see a man with close-cropped brown hair sitting on the swing. She must have been so lost in thought that she hadn't see him before. He was wearing a simple black shirt and pants, and he would look almost ordinary if it wasn't for the metallic gold eyeliner that had been applied with a light hand. It brought out the flecks of gold in his green eyes, and because of this one little touch, She couldn't help thinking how attractive he looked.

"Those won't last," he said, snapping her out of her daydream. "The threads will strip in that soft wood. If you want a good swing, one that will last, go out to Wild Horse Creek."

"Where's that?" she asked.

"Are you new here?"

"Yes. No. Well, I haven't been here very long."

"A newcomer, then."

He smiled and scooted over on the bench, an invitation for her to join him. She put her plastic beach bag and the welcome basket between them, giving herself little room at the other end of the bench.

"My name is Whitecotton. Cinna Moses Whitecotton."

"Oh." She started to tell him hers, but changed her mind.

"Some of my family shortened their name to White. But that's not

their name. Our name is Whitecotton."

"Why'd they change it?"

"They found some shame in it. They said it was a slave name. But it's theirs. And it's mine."

"My name is Katniss." He stated his name so proudly that she was sure hers seemed simple by comparison.

"That is unique, an interesting name. I bet a name that original has a story. Who gave it to you?"

"My father," she said timidly. Katniss didn't talk about her father to anyone and wasn't sure why she was telling this stranger, but it was nice to think of her dad back in a time and place where she felt safe.

"He was poor growing up, but his mother would hunt for food in the woods near their house, and she took him with her even when he was very small. He would collect berries, nuts, and roots that they could eat. His favorite was a plant that grew in the summer in a big pond a few miles from their house. They only went there once a year, in July. The plant was tall, with leaves that looked like arrowheads. It had blossoms with three white petals. Since I was born in July, he said I was like Katniss, cuz I bloomed in the summer and gave him hope." In her mind, Katniss drifted back to a time when she too had knelt down in the water, nearly starving.

When her mother left, she told Katniss that her grandparents would come to get her, but they never did. After a few days alone she had eaten everything that she could find in the trailer. 10 year-old Katniss fell asleep so hungry that she dreamed of her father, She could hear his voice so clearly, joking as they walked together near the pond, _"As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve Katniss."_ She could still feel her fingers digging into the soft mud, as she pulled up handfuls of the roots the next afternoon. Small, bluish tubers that didn't look like much, but boiled or baked were as good as any potato. Katniss spent hours stirring up the pond bed with her toes and a stick, gathering the tubers that floated to the top.

"Katniss," she said aloud to Cinna. "It's the plant I was named for."

"That is a wonderful story. Names are important," he said. "They keep track of who you are."

"I guess they do."

"It's true. Names are an important thing. Have you picked a name for your baby yet?"

"No, but I have some I'm thinking about."

"Well, take your time. Can't rush a thing like that. A name's too important to hurry."

"I've been thinking about Wendi, with an i, or maybe Candy, if it's a girl."

"Don't you dare! Give your baby a name that means something. A sturdy name. A strong name. A name that's going to withstand a lot of bad times. A lot of hurt."

"I didn't think about that."

"I used to be an engraver . . . trophies, plaques. Cut gravestones, too. When writing names is your job, you think about names a lot."

"Yeah, I guess you would."

"See, the name you pick out is going be with your baby when nothing else is. When nobody is. 'Cause you aren't always going to be there."

"Oh, I'm never gonna leave her. The way some people just run off and never look back..." Katniss felt a shiver of hatred run through her. The word 'leave' always reminded her of her mother, but now she pictured Gale too.

"But you're not going to live forever. You're going to die. We're all gonna die. Me. Her. You."

Katniss felt her heart sink at the thought. She hadn't even seen the baby, but the thought of being without her scared her more than anything.

"You're dying right now. Right this minute." He looked at his watch, said, "Right this second," then tapped it with his finger. "See there? That second passed. It's gone. Never going to come again. And while I'm talking to you, every second I'm talking, a second is passing. Gone. Count them up. Count them down. They're gone. Each one bringing you closer to your dying time."

"I don't like to think about that."

"You ever think about this? Every year you live, you pass the anniversary of your death. Now, you don't know what day it is, of course. You follow what I'm saying?"

Katniss nodded, but just barely, as if too much movement might break her concentration.

"Look here. Say you're going to die on September fourth. Course, you don't _know _the date because you're still alive. But every year you live, you pass September fourth without knowing it's the anniversary of your death. You see what I mean?"

"Yeah." Katniss was wide-eyed, stunned by this startling new idea. "I'd never thought of that." She spent so much time thinking of her father's death, the day it happened, the anniversary of it, the birthdays that he would never get to, and even now she knew exactly how old he would have been if he was alive today. 38. Why had she never stopped to think about her own death date?

"No, not a lot of folks do. But listen. You're going to die. But here's the good part: your name's not. No. It's going to be written in somebody's Bible, printed in some newspaper. Cut into your gravestone. See, that name has a history."

"And home is the place where your history begins," she said softly remembering what Effie had told her.

"And that history is going be there when you're not."

He turned his palms up, hands open . . . empty. He had given her all he could and she had taken it.

"Here," he said. He picked up his briefcase and adjusted it on his lap. The briefcase was full of pictures.

"Why do you have all of those?"

"I'm a photographer now. I go around to stores and take pictures of babies, making memories to look back on," he told Katniss, motioning to all the chubby- faced pictures in his briefcase. "Just bring your baby to see me in a few months and I'll take her picture for free."

"Will you?"

"Sure. Here's what I'm looking for." Cinna handed Katniss a satin baby book. "We give these away with your first order." He opened the first page. "This is where you write in your baby's name. Be sure it's the right one."

"I will."

He reassembled the pictures in his briefcase and snapped it shut.

"Mr. Whitecotton, could I take your picture?"

"Mine?"

She nodded.

"Sure."

Katniss took the camera out of the beach bag, stood in front of him, and snapped the picture. Cinna offered his hand to her. "Good luck."

His hand was sturdy, strong, and Katniss liked the way it felt to have her hand in his. She felt safe with him. Like the way she felt remembering her father.

"Thank you for the baby book."

"My pleasure," he said, then he walked away.

Katniss watched him go, then looked at the picture in her hand, the picture of Cinna Moses Whitecotton. And for a moment, just for a moment, she thought she saw herself in his face.

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So what did you think? I tried to tie in quotes from HG, CF, &amp; MJ, my own ideas, and there are also sections of unchanged text straight from the original book Where the heart is by Billie Letts. Again I am sorry fo rthe wait, there is a long tale of horrible coworkers, computer viruses, lost files, and plain old worn out mom-ness, but I will spare you all the gory details. The happy part is that you all would not leave me alone about this story, and so I couldn't forget it either. Thank you so much for all your kind words in reviews and messages. I promise that if you wrote to me you made me smile, even on the days that were hard. So write me more! thank you Norbert'smom, JanuCPertiwi1, Marinablablabla, Picabook82, Allforloveandhappiness, and Nannie for the reviews and encouragement. Thank you Always to GhtlovesTHG, my beta, her night owl ways help this story so much. Let me know what you want to see and I will try to include it. My next post will not be so far away. This story is up to 21 followers, which is awesome to me; lets see if we can get a few more. come and find me on Tumblr (same name) if you want to see story pics, story excerpts and a bunch of other stuff that I just felt like posting. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all so much for following/favoring and reviewing this little story! I was blown away by the response last ch. got, so while you read this picture me on my couch with a huge grin for every follower e-mail I get. :) ~ More at the end, Happy reading.

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Chapter 3

A bit before seven, Katniss was hungry again, so she ate a 6-piece box of chicken nuggets and a strawberry milkshake. Then she sat in the book section reading a copy of the _Pregnancy Today_ magazine. She was hoping to find a list of baby names to choose from, but there wasn't one. Instead, she began reading an article titled "Staying Fit During Pregnancy," which provoked her to use the last of her money to buy some turkey jerky for extra protein and then to take a brisk walk around the parking lot. As she walked, she remembered to breathe deeply from her diaphragm as the magazine had suggested, but the Oklahoma heat tired her quickly and she plodded through the last lap.

She looked up when a pickup pulled in and parked nearby. The back was filled with small trees, their roots wrapped in burlap. A hand-lettered sign on the side of the truck read, "SEEDER GOODLUCK NURSERY. EARTH CARE GROWERS." The driver wasa woman that looked like she could be related to Katniss, with her olive skin and straight black hair streaked with silver. She couldn't help but watch as the woman got outof the truck and walked into the store. _What if she is part of my history?_ Katniss thought. _A piece of my family, but how could I ever know? _The woman's passenger, a young girl, waited in the truck.

Katniss walked over, studied the sign for a few seconds, and then traced the word "Goodluck" with her finger. The girl, a ten-year-old copy of the woman, leaned out of the truck window and watched her.

"Is your name Goodluck?" she asked.

The girl nodded, "yes, Ruby Goodluck, but everyone calls me Rue."

"I wish that was my name," Katniss mumbled mostly to herself.

The girl heard her anyway and asked, "Why?"

"Because that's a strong name. A name that's gonna withstand a lot of bad times."

"I guess so," she said. "What's your name?"

"I'm Katniss."

"What happened to your arm Katniss?" Rue touched the scar very lightly.

Katniss rarely looked at the scar anymore, and tried her best never to think about it. One more horrible memory with a wall built up around it. But when the little girl touched her scar, maybe it was the heat or that Katniss was struggling to block out so many bad moments from the day, that the night two years ago at the diner flooded back like a wave braking down the levee in her mind. She just didn't see it coming.

It had happened right after she dropped out of school and started waiting tables at Sae's. A regular named Cray went crazy one night—threw his beer bottle through the front window and started yelling crazy things about seeing Jesus, all the time calling Sae the Holy Ghost. Katniss tried to calm him down, but Cray was just too confused. He jumped at Katniss with a steak knife, slashed her from wrist to elbow, and the emergency room doctor took seventy-seven stitches to close her up.

Sevens are bad luck.

Was it possible that Minnie, her mother, had left Katniss when she was Rue's age? How could anyone do that? Seeing this little girl made Katniss want to protect her from all of the bad things in the world. Looking at Rue's innocent face all she could say was, "I had some bad luck."

Then Katniss pointed to the bed of the truck. "What kind of trees are those?"

"Buckeyes."

"I never heard of those," admitted Katniss.

Rue jumped out, fished in her pocket and pulled out a hard brown nut, polished and shining.

"Here." She held it out to her.

"What is it?"

"A buckeye."

Katniss took the nut and rolled it around in her hand. It was a warm brown color, smooth to the touch.

""It's a good luck charm," Rue said.

"How do you know?"

"My grandma told me. This was her grandma's, then hers. And now it's mine."

"Did they have good luck?"

She nodded. "They were good at growing things. So am I."

"Does it only bring good luck with plants?"

"No. It's good for lots of stuff. Lets you find things you need. Helps you find your way home if you get lost. My Papa takes one fishing. My uncle lines them up in front of the TV when he watches football. Lots of stuff."

Katniss held the buckeye out to her.

"Make a wish first," she said.

"A wish?"

"Yeah. Hold it in your hand and make a wish."

"But it's not my good luck charm. It's yours."

"Yeah, but it'll work. Try it."

"Okay." Katniss clamped her fingers around the buckeye and closed her eyes tight, like a child waiting to be surprised. _Maybe just a small wish_, she thought. When she finished, she gave it back to Rue.

"What did you wish for?" she asked.

"If I tell you, it won't come true."

"Nah. That's just when you wish on a star."

"Can I take your picture Rue?"

"I guess so, sure."

"Stand right there by the door of your truck so I can get your name, too."

Katniss snapped the picture just as the older woman returned to the truck.

"You ready to go, Rue?" Looking at the two, Katniss could see herself in them both. Only the woman's golden brown eyes stood out as strikingly different. She must be around sixty, but she still looked strong. This had to be Rue's Grandmother. Maybe the buckeyes keep you strong and healthy too. Or maybe it was all the gardening.

"Okay," she tells the woman before turning back to tell Katniss goodbye.

"Bye, Ruby Goodluck."

Rue waved as the truck pulled away. Katniss crossed the parking lot, headed back to the store to escape the heat of the parking lot.

"Katniss. Katniss!"

She turned and held her hands up to shield her eyes from the sun.

"Wait up," Rue called. She was running toward her, carrying one of the little buckeye trees. "Here. It's for you."

"For me? Why?"

"For good luck." She put the tree down in the handicapped parking space they were standing in. Unexpectedly, Rue throws her arms around Katniss. She only hesitated a moment before hugging the little girl back.

"Oh, Rue. You knew what I wished for."

"Yes, I did. You be careful," she told Katniss.

Then she turned and ran back to her grandmother. Katniss watched the truck drive back to the highway, headed west into the setting sun.

Katniss was looking at baby clothes two hours later when the intercom clicked on.

"_Attention Wal-Mart shoppers. The time is now eight fifty-five PM and your Walmart Super Center will be closing in five minutes…"_

Katniss's face fell, she couldn't breathe, and she felt lightheaded.

"_Please bring your final selections to . . ._

Something surged in her chest, something hot and painful.

"_We would like to remind you of our store hours . . ._

Her heart raced, the beat irregular, heavy.

"_We are open from nine . . ._

Her mouth felt slick and tasted of sour milk and greasy chicken.

"_And, as always, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."_

She could feel her stomach turn, she wheeled and ran toward the bathroom at the back of the store. Past the empty layaway desk that was already closed down for the night, and into the empty bathroom. It was dark, but she didn't have time to search for a light switch.

Everything came back up as she heaved over and over again, even after her stomach was beyond empty, she couldn't stop. Finally it subsided and she leaned her face on the cool tile of the wall.

She sat there in the dark finally allowing herself to think about the mess she was in. All day she had ignored it, delayed this moment, but now all of her emotions came up. It was as if throwing up wasn't enough to get all the toxins out, now her body was pushing out all the hurt and pain that she had been choking down too. She sobbed as she finally let go and let herself feel heartbroken. Lost. Alone.

It was a kick from the baby that stopped her tears. "I'm not alone, am I?" she said to the baby, stroking her tummy. "We are in this together, aren't we?" After a few deep breaths to calm herself, she made the baby a promise. "I will do whatever I have to, to keep us both alive. It doesn't matter what happens. I promise to fight through it. And I will never leave you!" Her voice had risen a little. In it was all the anger, all the fear that Katniss felt when her mother abandoned her.

Katniss felt another nudge as if the baby was saying, _"I will be okay, I believe in you." And then asking, "you will really try? Try for me?"_

"Yes, really, really try. I swear it," she said out loud to the baby, and she knew, because she wasn't alone, she would have to. "I love you," she whispered softly, and patted the place where she felt the last kick.

There must be, Katniss told herself, things she could do. She could try to find Minnie, but she didn't know Fred's last name. She could call the Virginia State School for Girls to see if Madge was still there. But she was likely free. How much time could you get for stealing an ice cream truck anyway? She could call Sae, but Katniss didn't really think that she could send her the money. She probably already hired another waitress. And was there really anything there to go back to? What would she say to Hazelle?

Then she thought about Gale. She could hitchhike, try to get to California on her own. But she didn't know what J.P. stood for, so she would never find Gale's cousin. She didn't even know where the rail company was. _Maybe Gale didn't really leave,_ she thought. What if he really had gone to get the car fixed? Maybe he drove off to find a shop, then had a wreck before…

What if the car was stolen? Someone with a gun could have forced him to… That was the way it happened in the movies.

But Katniss knew nobody would help. And she knew Minnie wouldn't care where she was, Madge probably wouldn't even remember her—and Gale had left her. Left them both.

She tasted the bile rising in her throat again, felt the grip of pain in her stomach. There was nothing, but still she heaved, and heaved until exhaustion overtook her. Katniss felt herself slip into blackness and disappear into space.

When she woke, there was no way to know how long she had been in the bathroom. She pulled herself up from the floor. Her clothes were damp and sticky, her skin clammy. Katniss had a strange floating sensation. Her head was spinning, and the darkness was disorienting. Finally, she stood and made her way to the sink, felt for the faucet in the dark, and held on while she splashed her face and rinsed her mouth. Her head throbbed and she ached all over, but she washed up as well as she could, then recovered her beach bag and eased open the door.

The building was dark and quiet, but emergency lights allowed her to see her way to the baby section to retrieve her basket and the buckeye tree. She was sure the store was empty, she could feel the silence like a blanket around her. Katniss moved soundlessly through the store, toward the light.

On the window, a light rain was drizzling down in streaks, and beyond, cars passed on the highway, but the parking lot was empty. She considered trying the door, but feared it would set off an alarm. So she wandered the aisles, through jewelry cases, handbags, pajamas, and bras. Past silk flowers, office supplies, blankets, and a futon. The small couch looked comfy on its shelf, it had even been decorated with tiny pillows of many colors.

Katniss set her basket on one end and placed her tree on the other. She even set her photo album on the end table next to the futon. Some of the pillows were moved until they looked just right, and then she sat down. _This could be my living room,_ she thought, _maybe with yellow curtains on the windows. _She could see it all, the kitchen would be near the cloth section, and the bedrooms down the aisle past the pasta makers.

Her stomach growled then, and she searched in her basket for something to sooth it when she found the bread.

MELLARK'S BAKERY was stamped on the white paper bag that wrapped it. Katniss carefully opened it, unfolding the metal clips to open the bag. The smell hit her and her mouth instantly began to water. She felt hungry enough to eat the whole thing, but the pain in her stomach and her memories in the dark bathroom slowed her down. She pinched off a small nibble and held it to her nose to smell it. Then gently she placed it on her tongue and let out a sigh. It was grainy yet smooth, and the flavors of butter, sweet raisins, and roasted nuts swam in her mouth. It was the most wonderful thing she had tasted in a long time. She pinched off another large bite and then wrapped her treasure back into it's package.

With her stomach pain eased, her eyes became heavy. She let her head creep down on to the pillows, and her new orange flip flop fell to the floor. And with one hand tucked under her head, and the other on her belly, Katniss slipped away dreaming of trees, pink hair, smiling babies, blue eyes, and the bread that let her hope that maybe her history could begin here.

* * *

So what do you think? Some may not like this modern day (weak) Katniss, and I would say that this Katniss is still a fighter, she is just trying to find her purpose. HG Katniss had her sister and even her mother to care for and that kept her going. This is a Katniss who had no one left to care for, but herself and she was told so many times that she was not important enough. So what's a girl to do?

I hope that this story makes you realize that every pregnant teen (on tv or not) has a story, and many of these girls are still trying to find their way and their purpose in life. Do not pretend that you could have done better in their shoes. Support the girls in your life, friends, sisters, strangers at school, by letting them know that they matter. And ladies, believe in yourself where ever life may take you ~ YOU CAN DO THIS, there is a way, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! There is a reason that you were put on this earth at this moment in time, don't give up.

I post a lot of things on my Tumblr account (same name) and all of your comments, reviews, and notes come straight to my phone. Thank you. :)


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